Things You Never Thought You Would Survive
“If anything happened to one of my kids, I would be done. You would find me drooling in a corner somewhere.”
Those are words I repeatedly used when my children were small. The mere thought of anything bad happening to them made me physically ill.
During those days, it never occurred to me that I would live through a fraction of what I have had to endure. If I had been told that I would live through that past fifteen years of life, I would have used those same words. First, it would never have crossed my mind that Jordan would live under the control of an addiction Beast. If it did, I would be certain I didn’t have the strength to make it through.
Yet, here I am.
Here you are.
When Jordan was fourteen, she was arrested for shoplifting at the mall in our town. It was a week after she returned from Bible camp – on fire for God. I was shocked, in disbelief, angry, and hurt. I cried my eyes out – thinking this was the worst day of my life.
I survived that “worst day of my life.”
My precious daughter survived a near-fatal gunshot wound when she was eighteen. It would take me years of reliving the event for it not to feel unbelievable.
The first time Jordan was arrested, I cried for seven hours straight. I told my husband, “I can’t have a daughter in jail.”
The next time she was arrested, I was relieved.
When Jordan was around ten years old, a friend of a friend did a “reading” for me. She was a psychic, and I was curious. She told me that when Jordan was a teenager, she would not be able to live with me anymore. I kicked her out of my house, unable to imagine Jordan not wanting to live with me. When Jordan was seventeen, she went to live with her dad.
For periods of Jordan’s addiction, she would go weeks without contacting me. I couldn’t imagine going months without hearing her voice. Once I stopped chasing her, it happened. I haven’t heard her voice or seen her face in nearly two years.
I am surviving. In fact, I am doing much better than merely surviving.
The point is, that whatever stage of this unbelievably difficult journey you are going through, you will make it. You will survive.
After all, you have lived through MANY things you could never have imagined surviving. Now, it is time to imagine not just surviving, but thriving.
Use the Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast, and begin to live again. I am standing with you.
(Just ten days after this post, my daughter Jamie, whom I previously called Jordan, was murdered. Looking back, it seems ironic that this was my last blog post before her death.)
Valerie Silveira is an award-winning author, international speaker and Beast slayer. Through the devastation of losing her daughter over and over to the addiction Beast, and finally losing her to a senseless murder, Valerie empowers others to stand up and fight for their lives. She is the creator of Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast and the Still Standing Sisterhood membership program. Valerie uses her books and Sisterhood to guide women in their quest for happiness, peace, and purpose. She builds up women of courage who stand strong against any Beast in their lives.
Until her death in August 2016, Valerie chose to call her daughter Jamie, “Jordan.”