Codependent Enabler Beast
Drug and alcohol addiction is devastating, not just for the addict, but also for their families and loved ones. The toughest thing is to accept that we are powerless to save our addicts from themselves. While we continue to love them, to have hope, and to stand with them when they are battling, we MUST take care of ourselves!
It is too easy to “go down” with an addict. The Drug Addiction Beast leaves a trail of destruction in its path. This Beast does not care what color you are, how much money you make or your ethnic background. He has no interest in how your parents raised you, or what you have accomplished since. The Drug Addiction Beast is here to destroy lives, and families.
A close relative to the Drug Addiction Beast is the Codependent Enabler Beast. This one destroys lives too. He will whisper in your ear (or yell in your face) what a terrible parent or relative you are. He will convince you that it is your fault; not only did you cause the addiction, but somehow you are responsible for stopping it. He will leave out the part that you are actually powerless to save others from themselves, even your own children.
So, you live in a constant state of hope and suffocating disappointment, while beating yourself up over and again for something you cannot even figure out. Sadly, this disease causes bad choices and behaviors. No matter how much abuse your addict dishes out, your Beast will convince you that it is your responsibility to keep taking it. Your Codependent Enabler Beast knows you love your child, father, mother, brother, sister, another family member, or friend. He will use that love against you, applying pressure so you will continue in the cycle of hope and disappointment. Before long, you are convinced that your best days are behind you. You accept that unless your addict gets better, you will never be happy again, or at peace. You believe, you do not deserve it.
The fact that my child is lost in the belly or her Drug Addiction Beast is devastating. You are devastated over your loss, and your inability to save your loved one. For every addict, there are many more affected by the addiction. We need to do what we can to stop the ripple effect of addiction.
If you had the ability to save your loved one from their Drug Addiction Beast, wouldn’t you have done it long ago? This is not to say that we stop loving our addict, praying, or having hope. I have forgiven Jordan for everything. I love her no matter what. Every morning I thank God for a thousand angels protecting her, and I boldly ask for a miracle. Then I let her go. I have no way of knowing if I will get my miracle. That is something I cannot control. I am certain that I have the ability to save myself from my Codependent Enabler Beast, and you do too.
It is destructive enough to your family having a loved one in the grip of their Beast. Do not let your Codependent Enabler Beast take you down too. I put the pieces of my shattered heart back together while my daughter is still lost in the belly of her Beast. If I can do it, then I know that you can do it. Decide to Stand Up & Battle Your Beast.
I am standing with you.
Valerie Silveira is an award-winning author, international speaker and Beast slayer. Through the devastation of losing her daughter over and over to the addiction Beast, and finally losing her to a senseless murder, Valerie empowers others to stand up and fight for their lives. She is the creator of Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast and the Still Standing Sisterhood membership program. Valerie uses her books and Sisterhood to guide women in their quest for happiness, peace, and purpose. She builds up women of courage who stand strong against any Beast in their lives.
Until her death in August 2016, Valerie chose to call her daughter Jamie, “Jordan.”