Keep Your Social Media Microscope in Focus - Valerie Silveira
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Keep Your Social Media Microscope in Focus

From the Award-Winning Book, “Still Standing After All the Tears.”

When all hell breaks loose, it’s natural for your perspective to get out of focus. During your darkest days, it will appear everyone but you has what you don’t have.

Social media has allowed us to connect with people we have lost contact with, and to stay in touch with friends and family. Thankfully, most people have chosen to post the happiest and most positive aspects of their lives on social media platforms, which have become go to places for inspiration and motivation. However, let me issue you a warning:


“Lives Lived Out on Social Media

May Appear Better Than They Really Are”

— Valerie Silveira


Although positive news is much better than the alternative, social media can leave us with a false sense of others’ lives in comparison to ours.

What you focus on becomes magnified. When you experience loss, it’s natural to become more aware of what others have. The more loss I felt as Jordan moved deeper into her addiction, the more it appeared every other mother had a perfect daughter.

To my aching heart, Facebook posts seemed to appear daily stating people had the “best daughter in the world” and suggested I share the post if I too, had a daughter I was proud of, who meant the world to me, and so on. I didn’t even know where she was, or even if she were alive.

It wasn’t just the “world’s best daughter” posts, it was everything. Suddenly it appeared the entire world had the best husband, drank the best wine, went on weekly dream vacations, swam with the dolphins, drove the coolest cars, had the best friends in the world and bulging bank accounts; perfect lives. The postings were not the problem. Clearly, I was out of focus.

Be careful not to spend too much time focused on momentary messages. Nobody has a perfect “anything.” During a battle with a Beast, you will need to re-focus constantly in order to maintain perspective. Some people have what you don’t, but it’s counter-productive to focus on another person’s journey. Most of them are not what they appear to be anyway.


Valerie Silveira is an award-winning author, international speaker and Beast slayer. Through the devastation of losing her daughter over and over to the addiction Beast, and finally losing her to a senseless murder, Valerie empowers others to stand up and fight for their lives. She is the creator of Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast and  the Still Standing Sisterhood membership program. Valerie uses her books and Sisterhood to guide women in their quest for happiness, peace, and purpose. She builds up women of courage who stand strong against any Beast in their lives.

Until her death in August 2016, Valerie chose to call her daughter Jamie, “Jordan.”

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