My son, Sean wrestled in junior high and high school. As a parent, I think that was the most stressful sport I ever watched. He played a lot of sports, most of them being team sports. Sean was in the heavyweight division, and it was always the final match, and sometimes the deciding match, to see which team would win. The lights went dark in the gym, and the spotlight was on the lone mat, and two wrestlers.
At tournaments, prior to the final matches, there were several mats with multiple matches going on simultaneously. At one such tournament, my husband Rich and I stood at the mat during the match. Sean had started the round in the down position, on all fours. His opponent had a tight hold on him as Sean struggled to get up. He was on his feet, but unable to fully stand up. The other wrestler was bigger, and more experienced.
His coach paced nervously at the corner of the mat where the two boys struggled; Sean to free himself, and his opponent to take him down to the mat. The coach yelled at the top of his lungs,
“Stand up! Stand up!”
All I could think was that he was going to injure his back if he tried to stand up with a beast of a guy on his back! It was all I could do to not scream at the coach to shut up. Rich could feel my anxiety, and held onto my arm. Eventually, despite his opponent’s efforts to drop him to the mat, he stood up and ultimately won the match. No matter how hard it was for Sean, his coach knew that he didn’t stand much of a chance unless he found a way to stand up.
Eventually, despite his opponent’s efforts to drop him to the mat, Sean stood up and ultimately won the match. No matter how hard it was for Sean, his coach knew that he didn’t stand much of a chance unless he found a way to stand up.
My Beast had me down on the mat. I was heartbroken, terrified and exhausted. My enabling / codependency Beast was strong and I was becoming emotionally and mentally weaker by the day.
And then I made a decision that quite possibly saved my life. I decided to stand up and fight.
You may be down on the mat, with your Beast on top of you. If you don’t stand up, you too will be pinned. Just as Sean’s coach yelled at him, I am yelling at you (in love),
Valerie Silveira is an award-winning author, international speaker and Beast slayer. Through the devastation of losing her daughter over and over to the addiction Beast, and finally losing her to a senseless murder, Valerie empowers others to stand up and fight for their lives. She is the creator of Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast and the Still Standing Sisterhood membership program. Valerie uses her books and Sisterhood to guide women in their quest for happiness, peace, and purpose. She builds up women of courage who stand strong against any Beast in their lives.
Until her death in August 2016, Valerie chose to call her daughter Jamie, “Jordan.”