If It Was Possible, It Would Be Done
Are you exhausting yourself in an effort to save someone from themselves? I was desperate to save my daughter from herself – to battle her drug Beast for her. Jordan* told me what I wanted to hear. If I had a dollar for every time that she told me things would change in a couple of weeks. Drug addicts lie to keep you in the game – the enabling game. She strung me along. She took advantage of my generosity and my love. She is smart and knew exactly how to get me to keep believing the lies. Had she truly wanted help, she would have stopped talking about it and taken action. Ultimately, it was my choice to keep believing the talk. I was in a constant cycle of desperate hope and suffocating disappointment.
The reality that hit me one day was this: If it were possible for me to save Jordan from herself, it would be done! If all that it took was effort, money, tears, sleepless nights, and love…it would have been over a long time ago. It was then that I took a step back and realized how crazy all of this was. The fact that my heart had been shattered into a million pieces was not a factor. I could allow it to be shattered into a million and one pieces, and the situation would remain the same. I cannot save my daughter. She has to save herself. When she chooses life, I can stand with her. But she has to make the choice. If the choice were mine, it would have been made more than a decade ago.
Our loved ones have a choice, but so do we.
Standing with you,
Valerie Silveira is an award-winning author, international speaker and Beast slayer. Through the devastation of losing her daughter over and over to the addiction Beast, and finally losing her to a senseless murder, Valerie empowers others to stand up and fight for their lives. She is the creator of Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast and the Still Standing Sisterhood membership program. Valerie uses her books and Sisterhood to guide women in their quest for happiness, peace, and purpose. She builds up women of courage who stand strong against any Beast in their lives.
Until her death in August 2016, Valerie chose to call her daughter Jamie, “Jordan.”