Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast
Each Beast is different. My daughter’s Beast is drug addiction. My two-headed Beast is enabling & codependency. I love my daughter and was desperate to “help” her. The problem was that I wanted to kill her Beast, but she had learned to live with it. I tried to fight her battle for her. The codependency head of my Beast grew up over time. As I failed to save Jordan* from herself through my enabling, my Beast gained more control over me. I wanted my girl back; the girl who once had it all. The more her life plummeted, the more my sense of value in world diminished. I was certain that happiness was a thing of the past for me. Sure, I acted happy; I put on a good face for the world. But inside, I was dying. I lost my child over and over again.
I was at my lowest point, down on the mat, with my Beast on top of me when I made a decision that quite possibly saved my life. I decided to stand up and fight. No matter how long, or how painful I was going to find my way back. I was going to do it no matter where Jordan was in her life journey. No easy feat for a parent, but I looked at my options and knew that this was the only one that made any sense in the middle of this nightmare.
I found my way back. Now I am on a mission to help others to find their way back too. I call them the Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast. They will be explained in my soon to be released book:
Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast
Action #1: Decide to Stand Up & Fight
Make a real decision that you are going to take your life back. Decide that no matter what is going on around you, it is time to Battle Your Beast. Decide that today is the Day! I decided, and when it got tough, I re-decided. I provide some interesting perspectives to help you through this.
Action #2: Get On Your Spiritual Armor
No matter what your spiritual beliefs are – this thing is bigger than you are. When we are dealing with a Beast, it is not only physical, mental and emotional – but it is Spiritual. You are going to need this armor! I will tell you about my frantic quest for peace, and the best and worst things I ever prayed for – patience.
Action #3: Put On Your Oxygen Mask
This is especially challenging when your Beast centers around another person. With a drug addicted child, it is easy to focus on everything but yourself. I had to give myself permission to be happy. You have to give yourself permission to matter.
Action #4: Build Your Circle of Strength
Your Circle of Strength are your people. It includes Foxhole Friends, Good Friends, Supportive Family, not supportive family and so on. The people in your Circle are important – even those in the Ring of Fire!
Action #5: Change Your Attitude
Yep, this is a biggie. This can be a battle changer! Trust me, I work on this one every single day. I will introduce you to Mea Coulda, Shirley Shoulda and I. Woulda. You will learn about the party that you never want to attend. And I will tell you about the 10% people!
Action #6: Adjust Your Focus
What we focus on becomes magnified. My focus on my daughter, her addiction, her Beast became what I thought about most of my life for nearly a decade. I was losing myself in the process. When you read my story about the Old Woman in the Cave, you may be able to identify. You will learn about the Forgotten Wall & the Focus Board.
Action #7: Stop Being a Control Freak
Come on, we all do this to a certain extent. Who is not trying to control some, or all, aspects of their life? I will help you to understand the power that comes with letting go. You will learn how I was finally able to take off my Supermom cape.
Action #8: Stand On Your Story
This action is where we learn to shed the shame, guilt, and all of the other crap that has us stuck. You will learn what happens when you skip school. This is where you really learn to stand up, and to stay standing.
Action #9: Make Meaning Out of the Madness
One of the most powerful actions in Battling Your Beast is when you pay your story forward. There is an incredible opportunity that awaits you, no matter your story. You will learn how to begin this action in the middle of your $@!$&(@ storm!
If you want to be updated on the book, and some free information that will be coming out soon, go to the link on this page:
Standing shoulder to shoulder with you,
Valerie Silveira is an award-winning author, international speaker and Beast slayer. Through the devastation of losing her daughter over and over to the addiction Beast, and finally losing her to a senseless murder, Valerie empowers others to stand up and fight for their lives. She is the creator of Nine Actions to Battle Your Beast and the Still Standing Sisterhood membership program. Valerie uses her books and Sisterhood to guide women in their quest for happiness, peace, and purpose. She builds up women of courage who stand strong against any Beast in their lives.
Until her death in August 2016, Valerie chose to call her daughter Jamie, “Jordan.”